Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Now that I'm not itching...

I had a bad case of contact dermatitis/heat rash last week, after finally getting around to my "spring" yard cleaning. And an exhausting two long weekends of performances before that. I'm TIRED. Not that that explains why I didn't post for the couple of weeks before that, but...

To catch you up:

I did have a date with the delightful fellow from out-of-state. We had a nice time, a nice dinner, he's a very sweet guy. He couldn't stay too late, as he had plans the next day, so we parted with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. We talked almost every day for the next several days, he was planning to come see my last play and then...nothing. He seemingly disappeared from the planet. I left a couple of messages, then gave up, figuring he was blowing me off. He finally did call, days later, to tell me that he'd been "in a funk" and not listening to his messages. He then went on to describe his state of mind, which...well, let's just say if you went to the DSM IV and looked up "clinical depression," there'd be a picture of him there. He was concerned that he'd hurt my feelings...I told him to stop worrying about me and get himself some help, STAT. He's called once since then, but I missed the call and he didn't leave a message. He didn't answer my return call (like 10 minutes after the missed call) and I haven't heard from him since. I hope he's okay, but...I can't spend too much time worrying about someone who knows he needs help and refuses to get it. Moving on...

I've gotten random messages here and there from members of various dating sites...mostly of the "you sure are purty" variety. Nothing I'm taking too seriously.

Yesterday I got a couple of messages from one guy whose profile sounded interesting, but who had no profile pic. When I asked him why he said "I own a business and have a very jealous ex-wife." Next! I mean, seriously...if you're that afraid of your ex knowing you're dating, well, that's way too much baggage for me. And "I have a business"? As I asked him (and gee...then I suddenly stopped hearing from him), do you think you're doing something shameful? Are you embarrassed to be on here? 'Cause if you DO think there's something unsavory about the whole process, what do you really think about ME? Sheesh.

So, no real "dating" stories to relate. But...

I found out via email from his sis-in-law that Hot Med went back to Beirut a while back. Supposedly only for a long vacation, but they're not completely sure he's coming back. That makes me a little sad. If I had known I truly might never see him again, I probably would have run after him when I saw him in the parking lot that one night after rehearsal. (My last play rehearsed in a church next door to his restaurant.) Just to say "it was fun while it lasted, goodbye and good luck," you know?

Remember New Guy 2.0, and how he was a bit rude, and how we then mutually decided we shouldn't date, but could be friends? I've gotten the occasional joke forward/how're you doin' emails from him, and last week he upped the ante a bit. Seems he still thinks we're probably not meant to be life partners or anything, and he doesn't really have time for a girlfriend right now anyway (and that's the truth), but...he can't get me out of his mind. So, basically (and it was much nicer put than this), how would I feel about "friends with benefits"? And he hoped I wasn't insulted.

You know what? I'm not insulted, and I'm seriously considering the offer. What the heck, right? As long as we both know the score? There's nobody else I'm really interested in at the moment. Might as well have some fun this summer. I'm just sayin'. Heh.

Friday, May 14, 2010

The weekly update

So...if you're wondering how last weekend's date with Bachelor #5 went...it didn't. Turns out his son and grandson decided to drive up from Dallas for a Mother's Day weekend get-together, and wanted him to be there, too. He didn't feel right saying no, of course, so our date was postponed until this weekend. He felt really bad about it, but I completely understand. Nothing trumps time with a grandchild. The son also announced at the big family gathering that he and his wife were expecting another grandchild, so...it's a good thing he was there.

So, our date is tomorrow night. I'm excited and a little nervous. We talk on the phone every day, and he seems so nice. I hope he's not disappointed with me in real life. I hope I'm not disappointed with HIM in real life. OMG, what if he has stubby fingers? Heh.

I keep trying to ignore Bachelor #6; I really do. But he just keeps refusing to realize he's being ignored. He emailed me last week, said he'd taken another look at my profile, and wanted to point out what he thought was a grammatical error, hoping I could take a "little dig." Hoping that I had "a since of humor." WTF?! Excuse me? Okay, I think what he pointed out was probably not technically "correct," but since it's an online dating profile and not, say, a scholarly treatise, I think a little colloquialism is okay, don't you? Mind you, his emails had been, from the beginning, rife with bad grammar and misspellings/typos. And I did not point out any of them, preferring to give him a pass, as it seemed he had some other good qualities that might offset the grammatical/keyboarding deficiencies.

But no more. I emailed back, simply, "I have a SENSE of humor." Then I went back to ignoring him...or so I thought.

But since then I've gotten a couple more emails from him, each one beginning by apologizing for his having been "out of touch." NO, NO, NO. You haven't been out of touch. I'VE BEEN OUT OF TOUCH. ON PURPOSE.

I guess if he doesn't get the message this time, I'll go ahead and email him back and tell him just exactly why HE is being ignored. Gah.

In other news, my rat problem seems to be over. Mama Rat finally succumbed to the whopping amount of rat poison I put out for her under the house. (And boy, oh boy, did I hate having to resort to that. But she wouldn't go in the live trap. Damn it.) She had the decency to die out in the yard, and not under the house or heating unit where she's been hiding. I thought that was very considerate. I apologized profusely to her, told her I hoped she had a good, long life, that the poison was at least tasty, and that the end wasn't too painful. Then I buried her in the backyard near the spot where I buried my last pet rats.

I know, I'm a schmuck with a bleeding heart. But she can't help being a rat--it's what God made her to be, and she was only doing what she was designed to do. I hate having to punish a creature for that. (Except I'm a total hypocrite sometimes, because I immediately went inside and swatted the hell out of an enormous horse fly. But those things BITE.)

Bachelor #5 has heard every installment of the rat saga, by the way, and did not once tell me I'm an idiot...and he still wants to come see me. He gets major points for that, believe me.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

And counting...

Let's catch you up quickly on bachelors #5 and #6.

Number #5 and I have talked on the phone pretty regularly this week. I don't know what he'll be like in person, but he is great fun on the phone. I will probably fall madly in love with him, as he not only lives in a different TOWN, but also a different STATE. (But just barely--he's a little over an hour away.) I will fall for the one farthest away, right? That's a given? We have tentative plans to meet on Saturday evening. I'll keep you posted.

Number #6 is not quite so delightful over the phone, but there were some things I found interesting about him, so I agreed to get together with him last weekend. I was supposed to call him when I was done with my rehearsal Sunday afternoon, and we were to go to dinner around 7:00. I called him at 5:48. I called him at 7:02. He finally called back at 8:00--I was on the phone with someone else and didn't return the call. According to his voice mail, he "fell asleep," was "so sorry," and I should feel free to call him back about 9:00. I did not. Aside from standing me up, he had also sent an email earlier that day making a "joke" re: wondering how I was "in the sack," and then immediately following it with "oh, it's probably too soon for that, sorry." Um, dude...a) yes, it is too soon for that, and b) this is an email; you can take back the things you mistakenly "blurt out" with a little simple backspacing or the delete button. So I really hadn't planned to call him back.

Yesterday I found an email in my junk box from his work email address, apologizing for having not been in touch. He hasn't been feeling well, and promises we'll "get together soon." Argh! I was ignoring YOU, dude, you weren't ignoring ME. That's a very important distinction! I am the Ignorer!

Aside from that, I've been dealing with an infestation of rats under my house and in my garage. Aren't you jealous? Don't you wish you had live-trapped and released 8-9 (I lost track) baby rats over the last few days? I know you do.

Between work, rehearsal, four-legged rats, a two-legged rat, and a delightful man in another state, I've been busy. And I am EXHAUSTED. Wish I could take a nap. I have this Friday afternoon off, but there can be no napping. I've got a lawn to mow, and 28 tomato seedlings to get into the ground at a friend's new community garden. No rest for the weary this week.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

What's wrong with the men around here?

Seriously. Where are the good ones I'm assured are out there?

Since we last updated...

There was a second date with NG2.0. We went out for dinner Saturday night, then watched a movie at his house. Had a pretty good time, thought "if we're ever going to figure out if there's something here we need more than one date a month." Suggested bringing dessert to his house Monday night after our mutual rehearsals. He thought that sounded nice. Then my rehearsal was canceled, so I told him to just call me when he was on his way home. Which he did. I said I'd stop for some ice cream and be right there. (We live about five minutes apart.) When I got there, I stood outside knocking and ringing the bell for a couple of minutes, called him on his cell--busy, called him on his landline, he answered, said he was in his office and didn't hear me knocking, "be right there." About five minutes later, he finally opened the door, talking on his cell phone. Gestured me inside, never stopped talking. I put the dessert makings on the counter, he grabbed a couple of bowls, mouthed "are those big enough?" and when I nodded, wandered off to his den and sprawled on the couch. Talking on his cell the whole time. Did NOT gesture for me to join him, or act particularly glad to see me, so I just stayed in the kitchen. Finally, after more than 15 minutes (yes, I was watching my watch, and yes, I was about to walk out the door), I heard him hang up. Then: "Hello? HELLO?" I thought he was making another phone call, so it took me a moment to respond with "are you talking to ME?" I went into the den, and he was all "what were you doing in there?" "Waiting for you to finish your chat, what else?" "I thought you were fixing the ice cream." GAH. I fixed the ice cream, we ate it, and then within about 10 minutes he was nodding off on the couch. I couldn't blame him for that; it was getting late, so I gently prodded him awake and told him I was going home. He apologized for falling asleep, and I just wanted to scream--"that's not what you should be apologizing for, you jerk!"

But I didn't. I nicely said good-night, then sent him an email the next morning, explaining that I had found his behavior a bit rude, and just wanted to say that so I didn't keep it in and get all resentful. So far...no response. At all.

Am I out of line here? When a guy's been telling you for a month that he can't get you out of his head, shouldn't the least expectation be that when you show up at his house bearing ice cream and cake, he puts down the goddamn cell phone?


What else? I hadn't had any interaction at all recently with Bachelor #3, who is a Facebook friend, so just for the heck of it, I put a succinct "howdy" on his wall, and he responded right away with "howdy back-I owe you a phone call!" Damn straight you do. So frustrating--he made it a point to tell me (more than once) what a great time he had with me...then I don't hear from him. It makes me want to scream: "What, such a great time that you can't possibly risk doing it again? Afraid you'll die from too much enjoyment?"


I went ahead and gave my phone number to a Bachelor #5, who sounds very funny and cool...but who lives about an hour away. Figures, right?

Sing it with me if you know the words...argh.

Updated to add: wouldn't you know it...while I was typing this post, NG2.0 was sending me an email. Says he genuinely thought I was in the kitchen preparing the dessert, and that's why he continued his conversation. Okay, I'll buy that. He also says that he doesn't feel we're really a good fit as a couple, though he thinks we could be good friends. Actually...I'll buy that, too. Moving on!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

No news is no news.

No further word from the preferred bachelor, #3. Damn him.

I get little emails all the time from "New Guy 2.0." We haven't managed to find a time to go out again, but I figure I should give him a chance. He at least cares enough to forward jokes, and tell me he's thinking about me. And, truthfully, if our next date doesn't come immediately after a weekend reunion with an old friend with whom I truly do "click," maybe it won't pale so in comparison. (I may have left that part out. I had a great time with a guy I hadn't seen in 15 years, and then met NG2.0 the very next night. It may have colored my judgment.)

I'm told I should have shared more of the details of the date with Bachelor #2, the possibly Asperger's guy, so here are a couple.

Imagine his responses in something of a monotone, with not much blinking.

We're talking about pets. Me: "Do you have any pets?" Him: "I have stuffed animals."

He was a little late for for our date. (He lives in a adjacent suburb.) Him: "I'm not sure why I was late--I allotted 42 minutes."

See what I mean?

I got a message yesterday from a guy on one of the dating sites, insisting that he found my profile "fascinating" and simply must get to know me. I replied with a form of my now-usual go-to question: do you think Sarah Palin would be an excellent choice for leader of the free world? (Apologizing for my abruptness, but explaining I don't like to waste time with someone I feel certain won't truly "get" me. Life's too short, right?) Not only did he not answer, but both his original email and my response have completely disappeared from my inbox. It's like he never existed. Maybe I made him up. Heh.

Then there was this guy from yet another site who popped up in my daily "quiver." You are presented with three guys, asked to rate them, and if you rate them highly, they'll notify the guy. The guy seemed really interesting. He was in his late 30s, so...a little younger than me, but pretty much the same age as Hot Med, and I gave him a good rating.

Today he was still in my "quiver," and I noticed his "about me" paragraph has changed a bit. He added a bit to "clarify" that, though he is in his late 30s, he looks much younger, and really isn't looking for anyone older than mid 20s - mid 30s. Harsh! I didn't even send him a message--just clicked the "4 stars" button. Calm down, dude. The cougars aren't coming for you.

I will not call Hot Med because I'm bored...I will not call Hot Med because I'm bored...I will not call Hot Med because I'm bored...

Monday, April 12, 2010


As in, Friday night's date was meh.

Oh, he was perfectly pleasant. No real awkwardness, but no real "click," either, I didn't think, on either of our parts. Probably for the best. His work schedule is an absolute killer, and he can't turn down any overtime because he's paying his ex-wife some absolutely insane alimony/child support. (Seriously, dude needs a better lawyer, 'cause...yowza.) He did do one thing that bothered me--as we were leaving he made a lame "joke" along the lines of "and YOU can pay next time." Okay, here's the thing, dude. The check came while I was in the bathroom, and you sent your credit card off with the waitress before I even came back to the table. If you wanted to go dutch, you should not have been so quick on the trigger. I shot back with "I have absolutely no problem with paying, for the record." Maybe he really was just joking, 'cause we'd had the prior discussion about alimony, etc., but...no fair. You didn't even give me a chance to split the bill, so you can't give me shit about it afterward.

So, I think we can cross #4 off the list, along with #2. I'm still really wishing #3 would wise up and realize I'm perfect for him and schedule a second date already, but so far...no such luck. I do hear from New Guy 2.0 (I call him that because they share a first name, a profession, an ethnicity, a tendency to talk about my pretty eyes--heh) from time to time, but so far his crazy schedule has precluded another face-to-face. I'm not sure if I see anything serious happening there, but I would be happy to give it another shot before I write him off.

I am very happy so far with my new car, so that's something, right? And the weather here is absolutely gorgeous.

Now, if I could only figure out why there's a slightly "off" odor coming out of my house's central air vents, life would be all good, eh?

Thursday, April 08, 2010

And the dates keep coming.

A Friday night date with Bachelor #4 has now been scheduled.

No additional date with the preferred of last weekend's dates has been scheduled yet, though there has been some brief additional contact. He's busy for the next few days, but insists he "had a great time the other night, just so you know." (Direct quote.) Argh.

Maybe #4 will sweep me off my feet. The chances for that are probably increased, owing to the fact that he works really long hours and lives in a neighboring town several miles away. The guys RIGHT DOWN THE STREET never work out, right? Argh again.

I guess I feel the need to share this info somewhere, and I can't really allude to it on my "Bacefook" page, as Mr. Preferred is a "friend" there. Maybe semi-anonymous blogs do serve a purpose. Heh.

BTW, I told #4 last night that he was not really obligated to laugh at every single thing that comes out of my mouth. He insisted that he found me hilarious. And then mucked that up by saying I reminded him of a co-worker...who annoys the hell out of him, "in a good way." My response: "I don't even know what to make of that." 'Cause I don't. WTF?

Should be an interesting evening.

In other news, I bought a new (used) car. And part of me really wants to go show it to Hot Med, who was always needling me to get a car with better A/C and a working stereo. And then drive away without him in it. I should probably resist that impulse, don't you think? (Assuming he's still in the country. I actually don't know--maybe he freaked out again and headed back to Beirut.)